How to Quickly Build Social Media Confidence for Founders (Even If Visibility Freaks Them Out)
- Dorien Morin-van Dam
- 2 days ago
- 9 min read
If you’re a founder who quietly hopes social media will “just work” without you ever showing your face, keep reading.
You want leads, authority, and opportunities… but the idea of going on video or becoming “the face” of your brand makes your stomach drop.
You’re not alone.
Building social media confidence as a founder is a skill, not a personality trait.
This article grew out of a conversation I had with Lindsay Tjepkema on her show Actually, I Can, a video podcast where she talks with founders about bold choices, reinvention, and defining success on your own terms.
Lindsay is a three-time founder and seasoned B2B marketing leader who spends her days helping brands show up more human online.
Our full conversation about fear, visibility, and courage can be listened to here, and what you’re reading now is the “social-media-strategy” version of that story.
How I Started to Build Social Media Confidence from Scratch
People often assume I was “born confident” on social media. That could not be further from the truth.
When I decided to start my social media career at 40 in 2011, I was:
An immigrant who hadn’t worked in the U.S. in any formal way since 1998
A mom of four whose primary job had been raising kids
Not on Facebook, not really on Twitter, and only on LinkedIn because I had to be
My husband suggested I take a social media course. I took it, loved it, and there was this moment where I thought:
“I think I can do this. And then I immediately said, I know I can do this.”
That tiny shift from think to know is where I started to build social media confidence.
Here’s what I did next, before I felt ready:
I changed my LinkedIn headline to “Social Media Manager.”
I started networking on LinkedIn.
I said yes when a local charity reached out and asked what I knew about “this new social media thing.”
They couldn’t pay me money, so I asked them to pay me in credibility. They gave me the title Social Media Director, and together we grew their annual golf tournament from about $5,000 in donations to roughly $80,000. That work gave me:
Real-world case studies
Local connections with business owners
Reps in doing the work, not just learning it
That’s the first key to build social media confidence for founders: You don’t wait until you feel ready. You claim the identity, then grow into it.
What Founders Get Wrong When They Try to Build Social Media Confidence
After 14+ years in this field, most of my clients are founders and CEOs who are experts in what they do… and quietly terrified of showing up online.
Here’s what I see them get wrong when they try to build social media confidence:
They think confidence comes before action. Founders often tell themselves, “Once I’m more confident on camera, then I’ll start posting video.” It doesn’t work that way. Confidence is the reward for showing up, not the prerequisite.
They believe they need a polished “online persona.” Somewhere along the way, they picked up the idea that they need a different, bigger, shinier version of themselves for social. That’s exhausting, and it’s also unsustainable.
They try to leap from zero to daily video. Going from “I barely post” to “I’ll publish five videos a week” is a recipe for burnout and shame. Instead, I tell clients: let’s pick one long-form format you can actually sustain. Blog, podcast, or video. One.
They underestimate how emotional social media can be. Fear of visibility is rarely about the tools. It’s about being seen, judged, and criticized. Social media pokes directly at that fear. That’s normal.
During our conversation, Lindsay asked me a question that founders think but rarely say out loud:
“How do you suggest that they borrow your confidence if they’re already freaked out…?”
That’s really the heart of it. You don’t just need tactics. You need a way to borrow confidence while you’re still building your own.
Use Naivete to Build Social Media Confidence (Instead of Letting Fear Win)
One unexpected superpower in my story: I was naive.
At 18, I left the Netherlands to become an au pair in Boston. I didn’t see myself as brave. I saw myself as curious. I grew up in a big Dutch family, in a culture where kids are taught independence early. By 10, I was taking a train alone to visit friends. At 11, I could ride my bike into the city by myself.
So when I came to the U.S., I didn’t walk around thinking, This is terrifying. I thought, This is exciting.
The same thing happened when I started my business. I rented a room at a local college, paid $100 for it, and taught a Twitter workshop when I had just learned how to use Twitter myself. I think I made $20 per person.
Looking back, I realize:
I “didn’t know what I didn’t know.”
I hadn’t yet absorbed all the stories about why it might not work.
That naivete kept me moving instead of overthinking.
You can harness a version of that as a founder. To build social media confidence:
Stop trying to anticipate every possible thing that could go wrong.
Decide that you’re in a learning season, not a performance season.
Let yourself be a beginner on camera, even if you’re an expert in your field.
Confidence grows faster when the goal is “learn” instead of “impress.”
How Female Founders Build Social Media Confidence Without Selling Their Soul
Most of the founders I work with are women. And the fear of visibility is different for them.
Many have internalized a lifelong message: If you’re too visible, too confident, too front-and-center, people will ask, “Who does she think she is?”
On the flip side, if you stay behind the brand and never show your face, you’re told you’re not “stepping up as a founder.” It can feel like you’re wrong either way.
Here’s what I’ve seen help female founders build social media confidence without feeling gross:
Acknowledge the double standard, then choose you anyway.Yes, some people will have opinions about your photos or videos. That’s about them, not you.
Show up where the environment is safer.Personally, I feel safer on LinkedIn than on some other platforms. That’s where I put more of my video content. Choose platforms where the conversation aligns with your goals and values.
Make sure there’s no disconnect between who you are and how you show up. In our episode, I shared that my goal is simple:
“If you are who you are in person and you're going to show up online like that, what are people going to say? You're you.”
The most uncomfortable feedback often happens when there’s a big gap between your real self and your online persona.
And this part matters most:
“You don't have to put on an act. You don't have to script yourself into something that you are not.”
When you stop performing and start showing up as yourself, it becomes much easier to build social media confidence. You’re not trying to defend a character. You’re just being you.
Practical Ways to Build Social Media Confidence on Video
Let’s get into the “how.” Here’s how I help founders build social media confidence specifically around video, without throwing them into the deep end.
First, I share this rule I love from MrBeast (quoted at INBOUND):
Make 100 videos.
After each one, watch it back.
Improve just one thing next time.
If you do that, you won’t just be 'less afraid of video.' You’ll be someone who knows how to use video.
Here’s how we build up to that, step by step:
Start with one long-form content format. I tell clients:
Blog
Podcast
Or video
Pick one. Long-form content gives me something to repurpose into social posts, clips, carousels, and quote graphics.
Choose the lowest-friction format for you right now.
Hate video? Start with a blog.
Don’t want to write? Start a simple audio-only podcast.
Okay being on video if you’re not alone? Record a conversation with me or another host.
Use conversation to create content. Plenty of my CEO clients never sit down in front of a blank page.
Instead:
We hop on Zoom.
I ask them questions.
They answer like they would to a colleague or a customer.
We turn that into video clips, blog posts, and social content.
Make video feel safer by not doing it alone. I often tell clients:
“I'll hold your hand. I'll go with you on video. I'll cut myself out, but I'll do it with you.”
For some founders, that alone is the difference between “absolutely not” and “okay, let’s try.”
Remove the pressure to watch yourself immediately.I often tell especially women: you don’t have to watch your own videos right away. Let your strategist or editor review and post them. You can come back later when you’re feeling stronger.
The goal isn’t to suddenly love video. The goal is to build enough social media confidence to use video as a tool in your business, the same way you learned to use email or Zoom.
Borrow My Confidence: Masterminds, Besties, and Support Systems
Remember Lindsay’s question about how people can “borrow my confidence”? This is where support comes in.
My confidence did not appear out of nowhere.
Over the years I’ve had:
A husband who consistently believed in me
Masterminds with fellow women business owners
A growth mastermind where I often feel like the 'baby' in the room
Business friends who cheer me on and tell me the truth
If you’re trying to build social media confidence for founders, you need at least one of these:
A mastermind (formal or informal)
An accountability partner
A business bestie you can Voxer, text, or Zoom when fear gets loud
One of my favorite metaphors came from running, not marketing. I’ve been a runner for many years and have completed several marathons and half marathons. This year, I had a stress fracture in my leg and lost my confidence.
In my head I started saying, “You’re not a runner anymore.”
So I put myself back in the environment: I volunteered at a race where my husband was running a half marathon.
I watched:
A 90-year-old man run a half marathon
A woman run with a baby on her back
People of all body types, ages, and speeds crossing the same finish line
The next morning, I went for a run. Not because everything magically healed, but because I remembered something important:
“Ordinary people do extraordinary things. And you can do as an ordinary person, you can do it, too.”
You can do the same with social media:
Attend a conference where founders like you are showing up on video.
Join a community or mastermind where sharing content is normal.
Spend time with people already doing what scares you.
You build social media confidence faster when you’re surrounded by proof that people like you can do it.
Your Next Step to Build Social Media Confidence
If visibility freaks you out, please hear this: you don’t need to become a different person to show up online. You need a plan, a bit of naivete, and someone in your corner.
Here’s what I want you to do next:
Choose your long-form format. Decide: blog, podcast, or video. One format, for the next 90 days.
Pick your 'safe' platform. Where do you feel most aligned right now? LinkedIn, maybe YouTube, maybe just your email list. Start there.
Find one person to hold you accountable. A mastermind, a friend, another founder, or yes, a social media strategist like me. Say out loud what you’re going to do. Let them cheer you on and nudge you when you stall.
Record or publish your first piece of content as the founder. Not the logo. Not the brand. You. Imperfect, real, and ready to learn.
If you want a 'video bestie,' that’s literally part of my work. I’ve hosted countless first-time podcast and video guests who said, “I’ve never done this before,” and walked away saying, “Oh, I can do this.” You don’t have to do it alone.
“You don't have to do it alone… you hire me, I'll help you along.”
You can build social media confidence as a founder. You can be visible without feeling fake. And you can do it in a way that fits who you are, not who the internet says you should be.
Check out the 'Actually, I Can Podcast here.
10 AI Prompts to Help You Build Social Media Confidence
Here are 10 smart prompts you (or your audience) can use with AI to go deeper on what we just covered:
“Help me build social media confidence as a B2B founder who is introverted and scared of video.”
“Create a 90-day content plan to build social media confidence for founders using LinkedIn and one long-form format.”
“Turn this founder origin story into a blog outline that highlights courage, naivete, and resilience on social media: [paste your story].”
“Give me five low-pressure video ideas to help me build social media confidence without feeling salesy.”
“Outline a simple LinkedIn strategy to build social media confidence for a female founder who wants to step out from behind the brand.”
“Write a pep talk I can read before recording video to remind myself that ‘ordinary people do extraordinary things.’”
“Suggest three mastermind or accountability structures that help solo founders stay consistent with social media.”
“Turn this podcast transcript into a blog post focused on how to build social media confidence for founders: [paste transcript].”
“Give me a checklist to prepare for my first founder video on LinkedIn, from mindset to lighting to script.”
“Help me create a weekly routine to build social media confidence using one blog post, one video, and three LinkedIn posts.”
